Most ridiculous patents that ever existed – You may be violating one right now!

Companies in Singapore are getting sued left, right, center by a certain Singapore registered firm, Vuestar Tech. Apparently, they own the “method of locating web-pages by utilising visual images“. Basically, any image that link to other webpages are violating their patent.

Like this one!

Looky me, I’m violating a patent! Any discount for cute images? Anyway. An interesting fact is that although they were awarded the patent around 2003, they only decided to register their domain in December 2007.

Hur? It’s an Australian man with a Malaysian hosted website suing Singaporean companies. Hur? I don’t get it. Why choose us? And why now?

This is an example of an invoice that many companies have received.

They seem to be charging around $3,000 to $5,000 for the rights to using their (freaking ridiculous) patent. They are such patent trolls.

While we’re at this, lets examine what other scary patents there are out there that we may be (gasp) violating! We all want to be good citizens, don’t we? Please take every instruction from this line forward very, very seriously. Please!

From this moment onward,

1. DO NOT play with your cat by making them chase the light from a laser pointer!

Someone owns this patent for method of exercising a cat!

A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.

2. DO NOT play tug-of-war with your mouth!

Doing this could send a lawyer letter (and a dentist) coming your way!

3. DO NOT double click!

Microsoft has successfully patented using short, long or double clicks to launch different applications on “limited resource computing devices” – presumably PDAs and mobile phones. The US patent was granted on 27 April.

Yes, no more double clicking for you on your handphone or PDA.

4. DO NOT have a playlist for your songs!

Someone actually received a patent for the concept of music play lists and is suing everyone who uses one.

A system implementable using a programmable processor includes a plurality of pre-stored commands for building an inventory of audio, musical, works or audio/visual works, such as music videos. A plurality of works can be collected together in a list for purposes of establishing a play or a presentation sequence. The list can be visually displayed and edited. A plurality of lists can be stored for subsequent retrieval. A selected list can be retrieved and executed. Upon execution, the works of the list are presented sequentially either audibly or visually. The works can be read locally from a source, such as a CD, or can be obtained, via wireless transmission, from a remote inventory. If desired, establishment of a predetermined credit can be a pre-condition to being able to add items to the list for presentation.

5. DO NOT tie a plastic bag at the end of a stick!

It is supposed to be -get this- used to catch your pet’s droppings!

Can you imagine someone walking their dog like this?

Okay abrupt end. Dinner’s here. Kthxbye!